06 November 2009

Self-Reliance


As I sit here feeling totally content to my core, listening to Groovera's Jet City Lounge through iTunes, I can comfortably reflect on and talk about my feelings of discontent only yesterday. Ah yes, those thoughts, which seem so real at the time, that I respond to emotionally and throw my inner landscape into turmoil. Suddenly, I feel insecure. And what follows is me irrationally seeking a sense of security. This time, I frantically looked to a close person in my life to give me this sense of security I was needing. Uh oh. But, why do we do this? Why would we put this pressure on our loved ones?

Well, it's actually a compliment in a twisted sort of way. It's because we feel safe and accepted by them. We know that they will continue to love us unconditionally, even when we're irrational and out of balance. Now I'm not encouraging anyone to do this. I'm just saying it happens, or it has in my life anyway. And, thank God for the people who have continued to love me through these times. I am so grateful.

Of course, looking externally will only bring a false sense of security to me. When I finally took the time to slow down and reflect, I realized I was feeling out of control and spending time doing things that I thought I "should" do. Bad idea. This throws me off balance every time. However, it's a blessing in disguise, and a signal that I need to redirect myself and get back on my true path. It turns a negative situation into a positive one. And this I can feel thankful for.

Patience and trust are very important lessons here too. When I let my feelings of impatience take over, rather then trusting that the process is occuring exactly as it should, I feel out of control. This leads to, you guessed it, a feeling of insecurity. Now all of these thoughts are of my own choosing. I am fully responsible for my own reactive feelings that follow and no one else is to blame here but me. Nope. This is where the practice of meditation teaches us to observe the mind's activity, so that we may direct our own destiny. Control your mind's activity, and you have control of your inner landscape. And having control creates security. No we can't control other people, or events, but we can control ourselves. We can be a Master of our Minds. A Master Mind.

This morning, when I chose my Yogi tea, the message on the tag was "Self-reliance conquers any difficulty". Now wasn't that timely. Rely on the self to get through challenging times. It's here that I have a deeper understanding of the expression "mind over matter". Yes! Change my perspective, and I can change my world. My inner world, that is. But it all ripples out and affects everything around you. Our thoughts are powerful. Use them constructively.

Peace, Lisa